


If I Had a Heart (I Could Love You)

by inky_starlight



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Enemies to Lovers, Hate Sex, Historical AU, M/M, There's still death in this story it's just not major character death, death in battle, described war, later in the story I mean, this does NOT start out happy, vaguely historical au
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-10
Updated: 2019-07-09
Packaged: 2020-06-25 16:23:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,231
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19749388
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/inky_starlight/pseuds/inky_starlight
Summary: After beating his kingdom in war, King Lu Han takes Prince Minseok back to his palace.





	If I Had a Heart (I Could Love You)

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so first of all, this fic was heavily inspired by a combo of barbiexiu's "Watch This Space" and Vikings. But really I have to insist that you read "Watch This Space" as it is lovely. I have permission from barbiexiu to post this, since it's inspired by her work! 
> 
> Also, for visualization's sake, the horn in Minseok's castle is based on the horn of Helm's Deep. Lu Han's horn is based on the horn of Erebor.

They were out of time. That was all Minseok could think as he urged his horse into a gallop, his heartbeat almost louder in his ears than the distress horn from the castle. They were out of time.

They’d known Lu Han was coming a few days ago, when one of his ships had arrived with a declaration of war. They’d left just as quickly as they came, and Minseok and his father had known that Lu Han was bringing the fight to them. They hadn’t been worried. Stupidly, so stupidly, even though they had  _ seen _ the way Lu Han worked, they hadn’t been worried. The island was easy to defend, and they had done so in the past. The ocean side was tall cliffs, fjords that were only large enough for a small fishing boat to slide up into if the weather was exceptionally good. But for the most part the ocean side was all rocks: impossible for a large ship to get close enough to launch soldiers from directly, and the waves would dash any small boats to pieces on the rocks. Minseok had been ten years old when a few ships made that mistake and even though he knew it was impossible, sometimes he swore he could still see blood and gore on the rocks from the bodies being forced on them by the waves. The island was a crescent moon shape, running downhill towards the bay where their trading centers were located. It was easy to concentrate their forces on the bay, and from there defend the whole island. 

But Lu Han’s forces had slipped in through the fog. The fog that night and in the morning had been so thick, impossible to see through, and Lu Han’s forces had moved like ghosts, or demons, creeping past the docks and into the trading centers, killing the soldiers already stationed there before they even had a chance to sound the alarm. There had been a few civilians who had left as soon as they noticed the attacks and they’d managed to beat Lu Han’s soldiers to the next town. It was terrifying, that the only reason they even knew Lu Han was here was because of luck and a merchant’s quick horse. 

And now Lu Han had reached the palace. The deep, flat, sound of the castle’s alarm horn reverberated in Minseok’s bones and made panic bubble in his veins. The sound would carry across the whole island, bringing doom and terror with it. That sound meant their king and kingdom were in danger. 

“Ride!” Minseok yelled as he and his horse passed the soldiers he’d taken with him on patrol. “Ride to the king!” 

The pounding of the horses’ hooves on the ground matched the racing of Minseok’s heart. They were high up enough to not have to deal with the fog that had betrayed them, but that only meant that Minseok could see the maroon uniforms of Lu Han’s soldiers sooner, see the silver of the knight’s armor and swords in the faint light of the sun behind the clouds. 

The sound of the horn cut off, the last sound out of it became a wheeze as whoever had been blowing it was likely cut down inside the castle. If the sound of the horn had filled Minseok’s bones with dread, the abrupt absence of it made him pale with terror. Something was wrong in there, horribly, horribly, wrong. 

Minseok and his knights reached Lu Han’s soldiers surrounding the castle almost simultaneously, and then no sound could reach Minseok but the clashing of swords. Minseok left the majority of the hand to hand combat to his men, focused on getting to the castle itself. He cut a path through Lu Han’s men, swinging his sword to cut down the soldiers on either side of his horse with more ease than he thought was possible. Even the clashing of swords and yells of his men were silent in Minseok’s ears- all he could hear was his own heart beat as he kept his eyes on the castle doors. 

Everything came rushing back in the blink of an eye as he was pulled off his horse. Minseok hit the ground with a sharp cry but jumped up as quickly as he could. He was fighting with a general, he could tell by the uniform. The general was a good head or more taller than Minseok, a bit broader in the shoulders, but every bit as agile. He was just as good at the sword or better, and Minseok knew he had met his match. 

It didn’t stop him from putting everything he had into it. He was able to keep up, even though the panic did him no favors. If anything, the panic made him a bit blind, and eventually the general was able to kick, sweeping Minseok’s legs out from under him. Minseok hit the ground again with a grunt and before he could recover, the general had his sword pointed at Minseok’s neck. 

“Do you yield?” 

Minseok glared at him, panting in an effort to get his breath back. 

The general pressed his sword just a bit closer, not enough to cut Minseok but enough that if Minseok moved he could cut himself on it. 

“Do. You. Yield?” The general narrowed his eyes. “I’ve been told to avoid killing you if I can but of course accidents happen in battle.”

The message was clear. Yield or die. And Minseok had more than himself to think of. 

“I yield.” Minseok snapped. “I yield, damn you.” 

The general took the sword off Minseok’s neck, and a few of Lu Han’s soldiers hauled Minseok up from the ground. 

Minseok was marched, or practically dragged, the rest of the way to the castle, two soldiers gripping his arms so tightly they were almost hurting him, while the general walked in front of the three of them. Minseok knew to expect it, but it made his heart sink to see Lu Han’s men opening the castle doors. 

They took him all the way through the front hall, where other soldiers were already piling up the bodies of Minseok’s men. Past the front hall, through open doors, was the throne room. The throne room, with the throne as its single piece of furniture, could have been called spartan in appearance, were it not for the intricate marble carvings in the walls and on the pillars, done with white, grey, and black marble. When Minseok was younger, he had been afraid the carvings would come to life at night, they were so realistic. The ceiling had the image of a giant bird, looking as if it was passing over the throne room, and a young Minseok had always kept himself up at night with mental images of the bird coming to life and grabbing him, spiriting him away. Now that sounded like a fine idea. 

“Ah, General Yifan, you’ve finally arrived.”

As close behind the general, General Yifan, as Minseok was, he heard Lu Han before he saw him. He didn’t see Lu Han at all until Yifan moved from in front of Minseok with a:

“It takes a while to force a stubborn man to yield, your majesty.”

Lu Han was seated on the throne like he was born for it. Where Minseok’s father the king had been large enough to fill the chair completely where it was just shy of being uncomfortable, Lu Han was almost curled up in it, the only other thing needed to make him the picture of comfort and serenity was a book in his hands. Lu Han didn’t hold Minseok’s attention for long, though. His gaze trailed down off the throne to find his father prone on the floor, his robes soaking up a pool of blood. To Minseok’s horror, he realized that was only his father’s body… his father’s head was a foot away from it. 

“What have you done?!” Minseok screamed. 

He thrashed in the soldier’s grasp but managed to break away, diving for his father on the floor. He wasn’t sure whether to stay by the body or his father’s head, and ended up kneeling by both. He could feel his father’s blood soaking into his pants and his own royal robe, and he knew his father’s blood would be staining his skin. His father’s face was frozen in a kind of desperate anger, and Minseok had no idea what to do, what he was supposed to say as he watched his own tears mix in with his father’s blood. 

“What have you done?” It came out as a helpless whimper this time. 

He hadn’t seen Lu Han unfold himself from the throne, hadn’t seen him walk off the platform toward him, and so he yelped when Lu Han grabbed his chin, forcing Minseok to look at him rather than his father’s body. Lu Han didn’t answer his question, instead all he did was smirk, looking into Minseok’s eyes as he asked:

“Did you really think a fat old man could beat me?”

Minseok saw red, and the next thing he knew, Lu Han was falling backwards away from him: Minseok had punched him in the face. Minseok heard the soldiers behind him step forward but before they could get very far, Lu Han was on him. Minseok struggled, but Lu Han pinned him down quickly, hands pressing down on his forearms, and kneeling on Minseok’s legs in such a way that Minseok couldn’t move. 

“Do not do that again.” Lu Han’s voice was dangerous. “In case you’ve forgotten on your tiny little island, this is war, and all bets are off. Be grateful it was only your father and not you or your little sister.”

Minseok felt his blood run cold, and he tried to thrash but couldn’t. “Don’t you fucking touch her!” 

“Don’t give me a reason to,” Lu Han smirked, his face far too close to Minseok’s. 

Minseok didn’t, couldn’t, reply, and after a moment too long, Lu Han finally stood up. He offered a hand to Minseok but Minseok just gave him a look as he picked himself up- he had to be kidding. 

“Speaking of your sister,” Lu Han started, and Minseok glared at him, letting Lu Han know he was stepping into dangerous territory. “Go and fetch her. My men can’t find her, which I know must mean you have some sort of secret hiding space.”

“Why?” More of a challenge than a question. 

“International law decrees that all surviving immediate members of the royal family be present for the change of flag.” 

“And after that?”

“I’m still deciding.” Lu Han replied flippantly. 

Minseok stepped towards Lu Han, closer than he wanted to be and by the way General Yifan stepped forward, too close for the comfort of his men. 

“I’ve heard of what you do when you take kingdoms,” Minseok began. “I know you take a member of the royal family. Leave my sister alone, leave her here, alive, and as untraumatized as possible. Our- her nurse is still employed in the castle. Leave her alive for my sister’s sake.”

“And what are you saying, Minseok?” Lu Han had a smirk on his face like he knew what was coming. “Are saying that you’d rather me take you instead?”

Minseok gritted his teeth. “Yes, that is what I’m saying.” 

“Then I’ll be generous. I’ll make you a deal.” Lu Han looked so smug that Minseok just wanted to punch him. “I will spare your sister: leave her here, alive and untraumatized, along with her nurse. She’ll be allowed anywhere on the castle grounds but the castle grounds only. We’ll even clean up quickly so she doesn’t see any blood. In return, you will return with me to my home to live and serve me in whatever capacity I desire.”

Minseok narrowed his eyes. Lu Han was such a bastard: yes his sister would be more or less fine, but she would be under house arrest, and so under direct command of whatever Lu Han decided to do about governing the island, which didn’t tell Minseok much. And as for Minseok… he could make Minseok his slave and Minseok would be unable to object. But it was too good of a deal for his sister, and they both knew Minseok would take it. 

Minseok might not be so angry if Lu Han would stop looking so damn satisfied with himself. 

“Fine. I agree.”

“I thought so. Now to make it official… get down on your knees and kiss my ring.”

What.

Minseok must have said it out loud, or at least his expression must have been screaming it for him, because Lu Han repeated himself:

“Down on your knees, and kiss my ring.” Lu Han smirked. “Honestly, if you’re going to ‘serve me in any capacity’ you’d might as well start now.”

It was humiliating, it would be so even if it was just the two of them, but they were standing in front of a small group of Lu Han’s soldiers. But that was part of the point, wasn’t it? All part of Lu Han’s point.

Minseok sank to his knees as gracefully as he could, if he was going to do this he was at least going to maintain his image while he did it, but regretted that plan when Lu Han’s eyes darkened: he obviously liked the picture Minseok made. Lu Han held out his left hand, and Minseok leaned forward and pressed his lips to Luhan’s signet ring, glaring up at Lu Han the entire time.

“Good boy.” Lu Han murmured, soft enough for only Minseok to hear. 

Minseok wanted to punch him so badly. 

Minseok rose to his feet, and immediately stepped away from Lu Han. 

“Go find your sister.” Lu Han told him. 

“I want a funeral pyre for my father.” Minseok returned. “Think of it as part of not traumatizing my sister.”

Lu Han seemed to consider him for a moment, before shrugging. “Fine, fine. Just go get her.” 

Minseok maintained his composure as he walked out of the throne room and back into the main hall. Like hell he would let Lu Han or any of his men see him cry any more than he already had, and he had to be strong for his sister. She was eight years old and the most she knew of war was watching the soldiers parade and drill. She would be terrified already, she needed him to be as steady as he’d always been. 

Minseok was halfway up the castle’s winding staircase when he realized the state of his clothes. In the moment, he couldn’t help but whimper… he felt drenched with blood. His father’s blood. He couldn’t face his sister with their father’s blood all over him. Most of it was on his royal robe- the robe was a dark purple, with silver embroidery to denote his status, but the blood was darker. 

He practically wrenched open the silver ties in front, and flung the robe off of his shoulders and onto the stone steps as if the blood burned him. There was still blood on his knees, but the outfit he wore underneath the robe was all black: if there even was enough on his pants or boots to be visible, he could always say it was from fighting his way to the castle. 

His and his sister’s wing of the castle was at the very top of the stairs, just opposite his father’s. They had a couple hiding places, the castle was designed so that anyone in the castle during an attack would have as much time as possible to either hide or get out. He considered his father’s wing for a moment: his sister loved their father’s private library, and there was a hidden spot there, before deciding against it. He didn’t want to look at all the places his father should be and would never be again, not if he wanted to keep his composure. He headed into their wing. 

The first bedroom suite belonged to their nurse: he’d told Lu Han the woman was his sister’s nurse to keep him from doing anything to her out of spite, but she’d been Minseok’s, too. His parents had kept her on because Minseok adored her so much, and then when his mother got pregnant again despite her age, it was all too convenient. He checked the hidden space in the back of the armoire, but came up with nothing. 

Onward to his sister’s room. The front room of her suite was the only really tidy place in her suite at all, mostly because it was barely used. Meant as a place to entertain, with a couple couches and a table, but the sort of sipping tea and chatting that it implied wouldn’t happen until she was quite a bit older. Through an open archway, the study had clearly been gone through, but not ransacked at least. The door to the bedroom was open, so Lu Han’s men had clearly been through the suite, and Minseok felt a spark of triumph. His sister had been right under their noses and no one had found her. The bedroom was messy, but honestly Minseok couldn’t tell what of that was potentially soldiers and what was the room’s natural state. He didn’t think the costume trunk was usually open, with the costumes piled up around it, but the room was naturally a minefield of dolls and toys anyway. He knew she wouldn’t notice. 

There was the usual hidden spot behind the armoire- like the one in their nurses’ room, it slid to the side to allow access to a cut out in the wall. But that wasn’t one of the real hiding places. The real one, behind the toy shelf, locked as good as the castle doors until the latch was triggered. Minseok pressed a brick in the wall behind the headboard of the bed, and the toy shelf door shuddered open. 

“It’s me,” Minseok called out as he stepped inside. He didn’t want to scare his sister or his nurse any more than they already were, and he certainly didn’t want to try to catch up with them if they headed into the connecting tunnel.

“Minseok?” Their nurse’s voice was unsure, came from lower down the small staircase. “You’re by yourself?”

“Yes, it’s just me.” He walked down a few steps, letting the light from his sister’s bedroom filter in to illuminate the stairs a bit better. This hiding place was a long shaft that went down the inside of the castle wall and eventually connected to a few more places. They didn’t let outside anywhere, but they were designed so that any survivors could move around until they were able to find a safe place to come out and leave the castle from. 

“Seokkie,” his sister sounded like she’d been crying, and he heard her running up the stairs.

A few moments later he saw her face, sure enough her eyes were red, just before she buried it in his chest when he bent down to scoop her up. 

“We heard them in her bedroom,” their nurse said a moment later, coming up the stairs behind her charge. 

“They told me they couldn’t find you. You did well.”

“What happened?”

Carefully, Minseok told them. He left out some of the details, but explained Lu Han’s deal in a roundabout enough way that his sister wouldn’t be scared. Their nurse could see through the talking, Minseok could see it in her face, but he knew she would. He nearly lost the composure he’d promised himself he would have when his sister started crying once he told her about their father. His sister might not know of death in battle but she knew of death from the loss of their mother and she wailed, crying loud enough that Minseok could feel it in her whole body as he held her. 

He brought her out of the hiding place, their nurse following and shutting the shelf door behind them. 

They were so grim that they already looked like a small funeral procession as they walked down the stairs, Minseok all in black and holding his crying sister, their nurse behind them looking drab and dour with both her expression and her uniform. Minseok didn’t try to hush his sister’s sobs as they made their way closer and closer to the ground floor of the castle: if Lu Han or any of his men were bothered by the noise, they could fucking deal with it. Minseok couldn’t help but hold his breath just for a moment as he carried his sister into the throne room: he had no idea if Lu Han had kept his promise to clean up or not. 

Fortunately for Minseok, and for his sister’s sanity, Lu Han was at least decent enough of a man to keep his promise. There was a strong smell of cleaner, but no blood, and no sign of their father’s body. There were, however, a fairly large group of soldiers gathered, especially given the size of the throne room, and Minseok couldn’t blame his sister when he felt her shrink into him and bury her face in his neck to hide: they looked intimidating as all hell even to him, and he was a grown man. 

“Ah, our guests of honor have finally arrived.” Lu Han sounded, if possible, more pompous than he had before. “Now that you’re here, why don’t we all go to the courtyard?”

Watching Lu Han’s men move under his command, it was easy for Minseok to see how they had snuck in so quickly. Even just moving as a group from one place in the castle to another, they were a well-orchestrated unit. Each line of men was precise, completely synchronized. No matter if the line was two, or ten, or twenty, their feet fell as one footstep. Minseok’s men were good, they were well-trained and orderly but this… this was on a completely different level and it was terrifying. 

Minseok knew there was no way he should feel relieved when he felt Lu Han’s hand on the small of his back, guiding him out of the throne room, but he was just happy for any excuse to look away from watching the parading soldiers. 

In the courtyard, the wind off of the sea was salty and brisk, the clouds still blocking the sun. At least Minseok wouldn’t have to deal with the sun mocking him by shining bright and cheerfully while he watched his kingdom well and truly fall. Everything he had been anticipating for his future, everything he had studied for, trained for, been groomed for since he was old enough to remember… all of it was about to come down with the flag. His life’s work, in essence, would be burned with his father’s body if it wasn’t crumpled and torn to pieces first by the enemy. 

The courtyard had a perfect view of the castle flag pole, and Minseok didn’t even know how to feel as he watched the flag, under Lu Han’s command, be lowered for the last time. Quickly, too quickly, Lu Han’s own flag replaced it. It seemed like it happened in barely a blink. 

Minseok couldn’t help but startle a bit as the sound of horns rang out. They were deep, but unmistakably triumphant, proud, in just the few notes the players blew. The longer Minseok listened, the more he could hear it: it wasn’t just the handful of men playing in the courtyard, the sound was coming from all over the island. Lu Han’s horn, covering every corner of the island like a cape, like his flag was wrapping around the island to well and truly claim them all. 

He stood there, with his sister, his nurse, and Lu Han. Lu Han dismissed the soldiers around them, but Minseok didn’t move, save to shift and adjust his grip on his sister. He stared up at the flag, at Lu Han’s flag, flying where his, by right, should be but never would be again. He stood there until all the soldiers were gone and only a handful were left in the courtyard as guard duty. He stared at the flag, and felt Lu Han staring at him. Finally, he turned to Lu Han. 

“I want my flag for my father’s funeral pyre.”

Without waiting for a response, he carried his sister back inside the castle, their nurse trailing behind them. 

The entire day and early evening, Minseok felt like he was barely even in his own body. He was able to do everything he was supposed to: lay his sister down to sleep for a bit and stay with her until she actually fell asleep (which didn’t take long, she was rightfully exhausted) and arrange for his remaining soldiers to notify the families of the dead in the castle and arrange for funeral pyres. Lu Han, blessedly, left him alone, but he was still on Minseok’s brain. Minseok’s entire thought process was reduced to worrying for his sister’s future, worrying for his own, and a desperate disbelief that his father, his kingdom, and everything both of them stood for was now gone. 

He watched the remainder of his palace guard build his father’s funeral pyre as the sun got lower and lower in the sky. It was their tradition that funerals were held after dark, originally so the light from the pyre would help guide the dead to Heaven. The practice still held, even though Minseok wasn’t sure if anyone believed that the souls of the dead needed a guiding light anymore, to Heaven or otherwise. There would be so many pyres around the island tonight. So many funeral songs. The island was blanketed in death. 

As the light got lower and lower, Minseok dismissed more and more of his guard to go home. To grieve for their dead with their own families and friends, to help transport the bodies to their own pyres. And hopefully to stay with their families in the coming days, since no one but Lu Han and his men knew what the plans for them were. 

Once it was dark enough that the remaining servants began to light the castle lamps, Minseok sought out General Yifan. He didn’t want to deal with Lu Han right then, and he figured that General Yifan could give him the answers he was looking for. It was time to prepare his father’s body. 

Luckily for him, General Yifan was sympathetic, and answered him without a fuss. His father’s body was in a vestibule just off of the throne room, already on a pallet that could be burned. 

“Prince Minseok,” General Yifan stopped him before he could leave just after thanking him. “Is there anything we need to know? For conduct during the funerals?” 

Minseok almost asked why the hell he cared, but stopped himself. The look on General Yifan’s face said that he was being genuine. 

“Just… be as quiet as you can.” 

General Yifan nodded, and let him go.

Minseok headed into the little room, what he needed already in hand. He would not let his sister even suspect that Lu Han had beheaded their father. Mercy, he could barely handle even the idea of it… it would break her. Knowing would completely break her. 

He’d wanted to keep the things that he was putting on his father- a scarf that his mother had knitted to keep herself occupied while she was on bedrest during her pregnancy with him, and a brooch that his father had given his mother for a wedding anniversary. His father had worn the scarf often in the winter, and the brooch had been one of his mother’s favorites. But Minseok could not think of anything else that would be inconspicuous enough- even grieving, his sister was smart and observant, and if he wasn’t careful she could put the pieces together later after… after he was gone. And then there would be no one but their nurse to try and keep her from coming apart at the seams.

Minseok approached the body slowly. The low light softened the lines of agony on his father’s face, and whoever had put him in here had laid the head flush with the body so it wasn’t quite so jarring as it had been when Minseok had first seen him at the base of the throne. But Minseok already had tears in his eyes again. 

Softly, gently, he put the scarf around his father’s neck. He winced when he moved a bit too much and felt something shift, but by the time he finished, the scarf was around his father’s neck the way he had worn it in life, which happened to hide his neck completely. Minseok then used the brooch to pin it in place. His sister wouldn’t see anything, and Minseok could try to pretend just for a while. 

Whoever had taken down the flag had thrown it in here as well, and at first Minseok thought he might drape it over his father like a blanket, but it was too tattered- whoever had taken it down had either damaged it purposefully or had dragged it behind them when they brought it down to the vestibule. So Minseok folded it well enough to hide the tatters, but left it open enough that the sun on the flag was still visible. 

The last thing was the herbs. Mint and rosemary grew wild on the island, which was how they had become common in their use for funerals. Minseok made a wreath around his father’s whole body with them, which did a bit to mask the stench of death. It was the last thing to be done, and when Minseok looked up, the sun had left the sky. It was time. 

Minseok summoned the remaining castle guards and staff, and once his sister and their nurse came down from their wing, the funeral procession began. Some guards lit torches, and the rest carried the pallet. Minseok held his sister’s hand as they walked just behind their father’s body. 

The pyre was on the castle grounds, a safe distance between the building and the trees. The guards set the pallet down on the funeral pyre they had already built earlier in the day. Minseok stared for a few moments before he gave the order. 

The pyre lit quickly, and burned bright. Minseok took a deep breath, and then began to sing his father’s funeral song. It was in an old, nearly forgotten language, the language they’d spoken on the island before the common tongue had taken hold due to the trade routes. Minseok could feel tears in his eyes again, but he was determined to keep his voice steady, determined that his father would have this last rite. 

He could hear other voices, too. Funeral songs from elsewhere on the island carried to him on the wind. He looked out at the bay, and his voice nearly broke. The whole island was dotted with funeral pyres. Fire dotted the whole island, lighting up the night as the sparks flew higher and higher with the smoke into the night sky, dimming the light of the moon. Funeral songs covered the whole island, as if the sound was blanketing them all in death. 


End file.
